Enlightened

Last Thursday night, I went over to Michelle's house and we watched "Akeelah and the Bee". Such a great movie. There was a quote in that movie that Laurence Fishbourne had Akeelah say out loud as he was coaching her. And it made my frame tremble.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

And then today in Relief Society, Claudia made the remark at the beginning of her lesson about how as women we are so hard on ourselves...like I can't cook, or sow, or do this or that, or I don't look like this or that..... And then someone else made the comment that we would never treat someone else as horribly as we treat ourselves. So with all this information swimming around in my head I feel enlightened. I have felt for awhile now that I am being imprisoned by my current employer. And I don't think I have really realized why until now. I started off working there thinking it wouldn't be for very long, we just needed some extra cash..yada, yada, yada. Well, 5 years later! I still haven't left and done what I need to do. I know I am capable of so much more. And I am going to do it. I am so thrilled Spencer has the same dreams of independence as I do. And he is doing amazing at it. Soon, I can go back to school full time. And you know what... I want to make designer furniture. Not huge furniture like couches..but wood pieces...and I want to paint. I love to paint. Whether it is a wall in my house, or a picture frame. And I want to exercise all the time...I want to compete in marathons and triathalons and bikathons. Who am I NOT to do these things? Especially, when it can inspire that kind of confidence in others. Confidence in doing what makes you feel like you are truly a son or daughter of a Father in Heaven....royalty. William Shakespeare said, "Fearless minds climb soonest into crowns." I often find myself 'afraid' to serve other people, because i don't want them to think of it as pretentious, like I need a card or dinner in return.. Which of course is complete bullox. (sp?)
Anyway, I grew up being afraid of EVERYTHING. And now...not so much.

I was born to make manifest the glory of God that is within me.